I have refrained from making public comments regarding the world-wide handling of the COVID-19 pandemic because – with certain blatantly dishonourable exceptions (not to mention a small number of highly honourable ones) most nations and their governments have been muddling through in a reasonable fashion, given the severity and unprecedented nature of the crisis with which we are all are faced.

For Canada Justin Trudeau is considered to have had a reasonably good pandemic thus far, but here in British Columbia the real star is our Provincial Health Officer – Bonnie Henry – whose handling of the crisis has been beyond reproach… transparent, clear and rational.

One reason for maintaining an embarrassed silence with regard to other nations is that my mother country and its bizarre government – whilst having no trouble talking the talk (way too much in most cases) has proved almost uniquely incapable of walking the walk – tripping over its own clown shoes and falling flat on its face at every opportunity.

I have bitten my tongue at most of it, but hot on the heels of yesterday’s schooling of our mendacious Prime Minister and his entire cabinet by a Premiership footballer (yes – you read that correctly!) on the subject of free school lunches for disadvantaged children, comes the latest in the sorry saga of the UK’s Tracking and Testing program. Today’s announcement concerned the much touted tracing App that has been in development since March – the which was intended to alert individuals if they have been in close proximity to someone who is later discovered to have tested positive for the virus. This is about technology (which is, after all, my field) and I feel driven to comment!

When the Tracing and Tracking program was announced back in mists of time with the usual exaggerated fanfare it was described as “world beating”. We would, naturally, have settled for something that just worked – but you take what you can get!

One of the important elements of the program – or so it was claimed at the time – was to have been the App. Now, similar Apps have been – or are currently being – developed across the world. There are two basic models for this tool. One works purely locally to the device on which it has been installed which, if it comes into close proximity to another device belonging to a virus sufferer, alerts the user and advises the best course of action. The second version has a similar functionality, but is also tied into a centralised database, so that all sorts of information may be collected (for what purpose?).

The giant tech corporations, Apple and Google, have collaborated to produce a tool that follows the first, distributed model. Unsurprisingly the great majority of nations have plumped for this solution, since the backing and technical expertise of such behemoths is not to be sniffed at. Of those nations that did not do so immediately many have subsequently changed course and gone that route.

Concerns regarding data privacy were raised about the UK’s choice and computer scientists and other commentators warned back in April that the chosen solution would almost certainly prove impossible to engineer successfully on the platforms for which it would be required (iPhones and Android devices). The UK government – determined to to have its centralised database solution – announced (and subsequently abandoned) a succession of launch dates throughout May and early June. Rumour spread over the past few days that the App would not be ready until winter, further adding to the delay in the full implementation of the Track and Trace program, the which is vital if the UK economy is to re-open successfully.

Today’s (entirely predictable) announcement told of the final total abandonment of the UK government App (which the Health Minister tried to blame on Apple!) and the adoption instead of the Apple/Google offering with which most nations have already been working for the last three months.

I’m sorry – but you simply couldn’t make this stuff up. These people are supposed to have kept the UK and its citizens safe from the pandemic – rather than allowing it to become one of the worst hit countries in the world. They will shortly also have the responsibility of ensuring that the disaster that is Brexit does not deal the economy a terminal blow.

Good luck with that one!