This post borrows its title from the final episode of a rather wonderful British TV comedy-drama from the 1980s called The Biederbecke Affair, written by the late and much missed Alan Plater. This gentle but perceptive series – set in Yorkshire in the UK – features two disillusioned teachers who find themselves in a relationship with each other. The final episode sees the campaign of the female protagonist, Jill, to gain election as a local councillor reach its climax. Her accidental partner, Geordie, rigs a tannoy system on the roof of his van (Canadian: truck!) so that they can campaign more effectively. He tests the system by embarking on inspiring peroration, but before he can finish the first sentence the sound system burns out, cutting him off in full-flow.
This metaphor for modernity naturally appeals to the sceptical technologist in his late 50s. Four decades in IT has seen the ‘Wow!’ factor subside slowly but inexorably into the ‘Why doesn’t it work properly?’ factor. Yes – it is truly wonderful what can now be done with technology – but when the stars fade from our eyes we really should admit that most of it doesn’t quite work the way it should – even the iBits! (there – that should upset the Appleistas!).
Kickass Canada Girl is in Mexico, taking a well-deserved and hard-earned break before launching into her new role in Victoria. We are having to get acclimatised to the idea of living apart and it is still very early days. Without regular communication I think we would really be struggling.
I have reason – therefore – to be immensely grateful for Skype and for the iPad. I can now not only talk to the Girl daily without bankrupting either or both of us – but I can also see her sunning herself by the pool whilst I am stuck here in the cold, damp, grey, drizzly… (I’m not bitter – I’m not!).
Except that…
…either the wifi in the Girl’s resort is poor – or there is sorry a lack of intercontinental bandwidth – or maybe the iPad is just kicking back and enjoying a siesta rather than working hard to keep us in contact. Either way the connection is not capable of successfully delivering video calls, the sound deteriorating to a crackly mush and the image turning into what can only be described as ‘abstract expressionist’ (see the image above of Skype in action). Turning off the video in both directions at least means we can speak to each other, but it is a poor substitute.
Fortunately connections to Saanichton are an order of magnitude better, so when she returns there next week we can revert to our normal state of gazing into each other’s eyes with the kind of ‘youthful’ intensity that causes those present with an inadequacy of intestinal fortitude to employ such epithets as ‘Get a room!‘.
If only…!
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