I was really quite taken aback – after nearly eight years together – to discover that there are still major cultural differences between Kickass Canada Girl and myself.
Picture the scene… The Girl and I exit the Hypermarche laden with Provencal goodies which I lovingly load into the minuscule boot of our diminutive hire car. She tosses me the key and says,
“You drive”.
With the sun attempting to scorch us to toast before the air conditioning has a chance to kick in I jump into the driver’s seat and fumble with the key for the ignition lock. Got it! I twist the key vigorously. The car leaps forward and slams into the kerb in front of us.
“What the heck!”, she exclaims. “Could you jolly well not do that?”
She didn’t actually say that, but for the sake of the sensibilities of the gentle reader let us assume that she did.
“Could you not leave the jolly car in gear!”, I retort.
Actually, I didn’t say that either…
Apparently I am a particularly slow learner, because it took me four or five bunny-hopping commencements to excursions before I figured out that the Girl was not – in some heat induced stupor – forgetting to put the car into neutral before disembarking… This is, clearly, what she always does. I had not noticed before because – under a peculiarity of UK regulations which meant that the Girl could only exchange her Canadian drivers’ licence for an automatic licence – she had not driven what the Canadians call a ‘stick-shift’ during her time in England.
It turns out, of course, that in Canada one is taught always to leave the car in gear when parked. My protestations that this renders the parking brake somewhat redundant – particularly because Canadians are apparently taught not to use it when waiting to move off on a gentle incline either – cut no ice. It seems that the gearbox is to be relied on but that the parking brake is not. So much for automotive technological advancement!
Let us hope – in the interests of saving face in front of the amused locals – that we reach a compromise rapidly, and that our progress throughout the south of France is free of further lapinary lurches.
Still – as they say here – ‘Vive la difference”!
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Further to our conversation on this same topic the other night, Andre has just remembered and reminded me that manufacturers in the N.A. domestic automotive market have, in their “wisdom?” designed what we call the “stick shift” so that it will ONLY start with the clutch engaged. This encourages us to use the transmission as a parking brake and lapinary lurches are impossible in vehicles so designed.
VIVE LA DIFFERENCE!!!
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As you might imagine these are the sort of ‘safety features’ that drive me nuts! How did we ever get to the point at which it was decided that we were not to be trusted to operate machinery on our own initiative?
I may need to post something further on this counterproductive risk aversion… Thank you as ever for your input.
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It is a little known fact that in America the baseball cap was designed with the sole purpose of putting on the gearstick to remind them to get their asses out of gear before starting their automobiles.
It was only when they adopted the quaint notion of wearing the baseball cap on their heads that they had to develop automatic transmission. Of course I’m going back a few years now…-
Thanks for this. I did indeed try to explain the baseball cap technique, but for some reason it did not impress…
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